This post is my response to one big question that was asked by a teenager in my church yesterday 30th July, 2017.
This is the summary of that question.
“Is it advisable for a 17-year-old 100level university student to start a relationship and tell his/her parent about it?”
This got negative response from a professor and other men and children of God. Some said at 100l it is too young to be in a relationship because of the emotional effect coupled with studies.
The professor said one thing which i agree, that the moment you make love with a man you have given him the key to control you.
This is true, but it sounds like it doesn’t even affect the male child too at that young age. I got a mail which will soon be shared if permitted by the sender on how the first sex experience got a guy attached to a girl to the extent that he is afraid to let the girl go while she is misbehaving.
I find it hard to speak relationship issues in the church especially among the “men and some serious children of God” and older ones because they put so many vital points under the tongue which is affecting many youths now and the older ones are unaware that the root of the so called “nonsense” going on now-a-days is from them.
The truth is that many are hypocrites when religion is attached to some serious relationship issues, we preach things we cannot do as we feel that which we do is not the right way and because we don’t want others to look at us like someone strange.
Another truth is that many people that say this is how something is meant to be turns out to be the culprit.
Everyone want to deceive each other when it comes to relationship discussions especially in the religious homes and everyone want to be recognized as a saint at the same time.
Like so many of us, I am in so many relationship discussion groups and have read series of relationship issues among children of 12, 13,14 years old which i don’t have choice than to advise them on how to do things.
It is still better here, however, we are also growing towards that direction if care is not taken because the growth of the children this days is as fast as something many still don’t understand. You see a 10-year old child looking like a 20-year old adult and so on.
Personally, I think the things the parent hides are the real cause of what we term as immorality this days.
Many parent will never tell their children the reality of things thinking everything should be learnt in the school and this is why they spend huge amount of money sending their children to school.
Apart from education, the parent also have a lot to teach the children and to also be more of a friend to them so that whatever issue they are facing they will be able to tell you in order to come in with the best solution.
Many parents don’t even want to hear anything related to relationship from their children forgetting that they mingle with other children from good and bad families and when you are not accommodating at home they have no choice than to lean on those outside not minding the effect of what they teach them.
Many parents want to be in charge forgetting that children of this age love to explore and react to what they see, if you are not as friendly as required they will do what they see behind you which may be disastrous to their future.
Even if the father will want to act strict the mother should be completely friendly so as to be able to lead the children through the right way.
Children of Now-a-days are exposed to immorality through things they see on the internet and on the TV screens, it takes the interference of parents to guide them so as not to act based on what they see.
Parental guidance is very essential as it cannot be given in the school, no matter how much you spend on the education of your child you should try to give them quality parental guidance as the two works hand-in-hand.
Your iron-hand will only cause greater harm than good as it is the cause of immoralities we see and hear this days.
Let your children to be free with you if you want to know about them and if you want to be able to guide them.
It is only when you have the key to a door you can open it peacefully, if not, you will be left with the option to unlock it forcefully which will damage the door.
The above is exactly how the children are to the parent, you can control them when you are friendly with them, but when you are not you will discover bad things about them which it will have been too late already.
Religious leaders will tell you it is not right to be in a relationship early not just because of the effect on your education but because they see it as immoral because to them there is no way you will not involve s3x in it when you are early, forgetting that many have managed that situation through serious agreements between the two involved.
Read Also: Not All Relationships Ends In Marriage
Meanwhile, their daughter of 16-year old has had up to 2 boyfriend’s within 10 months, yet they think such daughter is more than even a saint who have no opposite gender as friends.
This is my opinion. Let’s be sincere, as a parent, how will you react when your child/daughter who is still young Let’s say around the same 17 years old who is also a university student tells you he/she is already in a relationship?
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Picture credit: Natalya Zaritskaya